forever&everland
by moon strut
Summary: Let's go on an adventure, you and I. —natsu&lucy, fantasy!au
1. don't ask me i'll never tell

**notes: **ew what is this.  
**inspired by: **Ella Enchanted, Peter Pan, and all the lovely fairy tales of my childhood.  
**disclaimer: **disclaimed.

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_(never say goodbye  
because goodbye means going away  
and going away means forgetting__)__  
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**/don't ask me i'll never tell  
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**0**

I am seven, and my world changes.

(Maybe for the better—or, maybe not.

Who knows?)

But it happens anyway.

And I'm sure Mavis doesn't mean any harm. Or any hurt. She only means to give me a gift.

It's supposed to be a gift. Perhaps for my birthday. Because today is my birthday.

It doesn't feel like a gift.

It's more like a curse. A curse to be unconditionally obedient. To listen and to do. To never _not_ do.

I am seven, and I am cursed.

This is a curse.

_(never say goodbye)_

"Lucy, come, sit down."

I sit.

_(because goodbye means going away)_

"Lucy, smile, dear."

I smile.

_(and going away means forgetting)_

"Lucy, eat some cake."

I eat.

And eat.

And eat.

And I don't stop.

Because no one tells me to stop.

Each bite is harder, heavier, but I can't stop.

I am crying and eating, and I've never hated cake more in my life.

This is a curse.

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**1**

It had never occurred to me that things could go awry so quickly.

I am twelve, and it is spring. The flowers are blooming, the skies are singing, and everything is just so alive.

I feel alive.

Me and Mama. Mama and me.

We are laughing and playing and laughing some more. And maybe one day, we'll go searching for four-leaf clovers, or perhaps we'll be skipping stones at the lake. Then we'll read a good book and maybe watch the stars in the sky, without a care for the wet grass soaking our backs.

(Papa's usually never there. All he ever does is work.

Work.

Work.

Work.

Because he is Papa, and that's what he does.)

But then it's fall. And Mama is sick. We don't go out much anymore.

Because Mama is sick.

(What happened to summer?)

And I'm so sure—so certain that Porlyusica can heal her. Because Porlyusica can heal _anything_.

Always.

She gives Mama a soup, a magical soup, and tells her to eat it. All of it.

It has carrots and vegetables, and smells vaguely like chicken noodle, but there are... other ingredients as well. I don't recognize most of them, but I know that one of them is the hair of a mermaid and another, the scales of a wyvern. And how Mama is supposed to eat all of _that_ is a mystery to me.

But she eats it. Not all of it, I notice.

(She leaves the hair and the scales.)

It looks good.

It _smells _good.

I hope it's good.

I'm worried, and it shows on my face as I sit beside her bed, and she just lies there. The soup is gone, with the exception of the rejected ingredients—which she has me slip into the trash, and it bothers me because Porlyusica said: "_all of it_."

But Mama just smiles.

And smiles.

And smiles.

And holds a finger to her lips, so palepale_pale_: "Don't let Porylusica know."

An order.

I don't tell Porlyusica. I _can't _tell Porlyusica.

I am powerless before an order, a command, any demand.

My eyes are downcast. I look at the ground.

"Lucy."

They flicker up. Eyes so brown.

"Promise me."

I bite my lip.

"..."

"_Lucy._"

"... I promise, Mama."

"Good girl."

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Seven days later, I am twelve, it is fall, and Mama is dead.

(What happened to summer?)

I watch Mama lie in that box. Her casket is pretty, like she, but still, she doesn't look like Mama to me. The woman in the box is too pale, too stern, too _cold _to be Mama.

I don't like it.

The speeches end, and the lid of the casket is gently lowered. It closes with a dull click. _With Mama inside._

I begin to cry.

And cry.

And cry.

I'm sobbing—perhaps too loudly, because Papa holds me close, muffling my screams.

It doesn't really work.

"Lucy, stop disturbing the ceremony and go somewhere else until you can be quiet," he orders.

I don't hesitate to obey.

And so I'm running.

Running.

Running.

Running.

I'm not sure where I'm going, but I recognize the places where Mama and I used to pass the time. The flower fields. The green_green_ hills. And finally, the lake.

I stop running then, slowing down. The satin, black dress I am wearing is ripped and covered in mud and tears.

My feet feel heavy. My heart feels heavier.

Vision blurry. Lips so salty.

I cry some more against that tall_tall_ tree.

_(never say goodbye)_

There is a boy at the lake.

I don't recognize him.

He sits at the edge, with his feet in the water. Wind blowing through his dusty pink hair. He turns around, startled: "Who are you?"

I blink.

"Who are _you_?" I reply.

He's standing now, fists up, cocked and ready.

"I ain't tellin' you."

"Well, then I'm not telling _you_."

Silence.

"So... You live 'round here?"

"Yes, in the mansion past the hills."

I begin to wonder why I'm even talking to this odd boy.

Mama never told me not to speak to strangers.

But Mama is dead now.

"H—Hey, why are you cryin' all of a sudden?"

I look at him through blurry_blurry _vision. Pink hair. Dark, black eyes.

"Y'know, you were pretty loud earlier. I was tryin' to nap."

So he heard me.

He wipes my face dry with his soft, white scarf. It looks like a sheet of scales. Almost.

"What's your name?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"C'mon, tell me!"

Sigh. That was an order.

"Lucy."

"Weird name. I'm Natsu. Remember it!"

I do.

We sit at the edge of the lake together. Feet in the water. It's cold.

"Now tell me—why are you cryin'?"

"Mama... Mama is dead."

"Oh."

More silence.

(It is now that I contemplate becoming friends with Natsu. I had a friend once. She was my very first friend—or my second, if you can count Porlyusica as one—and we used to play a lot in the garden behind my home. I was young—well, younger—and naïve. It was a great mistake telling her about my curse. She completely took advantage of me, and for an hour, I became her personal servant.

I ended up punching her in the throat.

She screamed.

I laughed.

Then Mama made me promise never to tell anyone else.

I didn't need a command for me to know that.)

Natsu finally speaks, throwing pebbles and grass into the murky water of the lake.

"I don't know my mom."

I quirk an eyebrow.

"Like, at all?"

"Nope."

"And your father?"

He shakes his head.

"Where are you from?"

"I don't really remember."

The smile lighting his face is so genuine. So blissful.

I want to smile like that.

"How—How did you get here?"

Shrug.

"Why don't you come stay at my place then? Just for now."

He shakes his head again.

"Nah, mansions are too stuffy."

And it baffles me that he would describe something so spacious and wide as a mansion to be stuffy.

My concern shows through my face.

"I'll be fine. You should head back now. They'll be worried an' all."

"Okay... Um, see you sometime then,

... Natsu."

He smiles.

And I don't see him again for a long, long time.

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_(because goodbye means going away)_

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It is spring, and I am eighteen when I meet him again.

He's older, and taller, and his voice is much deeper.

But he has the same flamingo pink hair, scarf of scales as well.

And that same bright_bright_ smile.

It is spring, and I am eighteen when I see him again, the prince of Fiore.

He is the the prince of Fiore, and has forgotten who I am.

(He's very forgetful, isn't he?)

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_(and going away means forgetting)_

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**notes: **i would reallyreally_really _appreciate feedback this time 'round. thank you._  
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	2. though i haven't seen you

**notes:** AJFDLHJKDHFADHKJFD sorry for the wait, folks.

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_(all of the world is made of faith,  
and trust,  
__and pixie dust)_

**/though i haven't seen you**

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**2**

It takes me by surprise.

Like a single, gloomy cloud on a bright and sunny day.

And just like the clouds, the royal family drifts in to pay a visit to our little town of Magnolia. There is a party at my mansion, courtesy of Papa.

The prince attends.

_He_ is the prince.

His name is Natsu.

I can't forget even if I want to, because he told me to remember, on that fateful day in fall.

And remember I did.

Papa urges me to greet him. (I had planned to, anyway.)

I had planned to, and yet the more I look at him, shining and sparkling and more radiant than ever, the harder it becomes to approach him.

"So you turned out to be the prince of Fiore," I finally manage to squeak.

He swivels around, lips curling up blissfully.

He's smiling at me.

I remember it.

(Though he has gotten older, face slimmer, features heavier and more defined.)

I still want to smile like him.

Then, it takes me a moment for realization to dawn on me. The lack of recognition in those same dark_dark_ eyes. Nothing reflects back to me.

I feel my face fall.

"Do I... know you?"

He sounds uncertain.

I decide not to answer. Maybe because I'm not quite ready to accept that he has forgotten me.

"Um, I think Porlyusica called for me..."

I turn to leave, long dress flowing.

I am taken by surprise for the second time today, when he catches my elbow and spins me around.

"Wait―don't go yet."

My feet root themselves to the floor, and I internally panic. My expression, however, retains composure.

Endless black eyes stare at me hard, scrutinizing, analyzing, searching for answers.

I'm not sure he will find them.

"You seem _really_ familiar. Somehow. I don't know."

"I'm simply just Jude and Layla Heartfilia's daughter. Nothing more, your highness."

His nose scrunches up.

"Just call me Natsu, thanks."

He sure gives enough orders to be a prince.

"Yes, sir."

"So. I hear Magnolia's pretty amazing this time of year. Tell me, what is there to see?"

I purse my lips, tight and nervous, because he said _tell me_.

"Magnolia's rainbow sakura is definitely something you shouldn't miss. But I'm sure you can see it―"

"Rainbow sakura? _Seriously_?"

Natsu wears an expression of absolute excitement and glee.

I nod, slowly.

And then, there is a mischievous glint in his charcoal eyes when he says,

"Show me."

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I take him to my special spot.

Where the wind stops blowing, the flowers are dancing, and the skies are grinning.

I lead him through the tall, free grass, by the hand, fingers gently tangled.

His hand is very warm.

We arrive, and he's grinning and beaming so brightly.

Brighter than the sun.

I swallow the urge to shield my eyes, but I don't let go of his hand.

It wasn't an order.

I just don't _want_ to.

Natsu suddenly looks at me, smiling so hard that even I can't help but return it.

I want to smile like that.

I don't have time to ruminate―what is that meaning behind his smile?―before he holds me tighter, and we're running and flying and laughing through the fields.

I look at him. He looks at me.

We share identical grins.

Finally, will I be able to smile like him?

It takes one look, reflected in the mirror of our eyes, and we both understand. There are hardships and pains and sad_sad_ pasts. But for now, none of that matters.

For now, we just need to live.

It is spring, I am eighteen, but I feel like I'm seven.

I am jumping and dancing with the prince in the fields, and I cannot believe this is real.

And then we both fall over, right underneath the beautiful sakura trees, breathless and exhausted and sore in the legs.

I watch the rainbow leaves drift downward, chaotic and graceful at the very same time.

"The spring fairies are hard at work," I muse without really thinking.

I see him stir in the corner of my eye.

"Fairies?" He asks.

I nod. He leans in to listen, elbow propping his head up.

"Mama told me a long time ago. There are fairies―teeny tiny little fairies―that change the seasons."

Natsu glances around.

"You can't see them. But they're there."

"Have you seen one before?"

I shake my head, heavy with regret.

"No, but I want to. I've wanted to since I was young. When Mana first told me."

"I wonder, do fairies have tails?" He heaves a breathy sigh.

"Maybe."

We lie in silence, listening to the rustling of the trees above.

"So, where are the summer fairies?" Natsu finally says, wind blowing through his dusty pink hair.

"What do you mean? It's spring..."

His gaze darkens, and the sparkle is gone.

"Haven't you noticed? There hasn't been a summer in over eleven years."

And then I understand. And I am also shrouded in the darkness of reality.

"I remember, Mama once told me before she died, that the summer spirit is missing. And the fairies can't work without the spirit there to guide them."

"Is there a spring spirit too?"

I stare into his eyes, black_black _eyes. He is completely serious.

"Yup. He's here right now, with the spring fairies."

Natsu follows my gaze skyward.

"What's his name?"

I shake my head.

"I don't know. No one knows."

He laughs, a deep, resonating sound that rumbles beside me.

"Tell me, is your name... Lucy?"

Eyes wide, I struggle to give a shaky nod.

Has he...?

"I knew it!" He cheers.

"How did you...?"

"That was the only name that I remembered so clearly, but it was missing a face."

He sits up suddenly, bright_bright_ expression back on his face.

"Hey, Lucy," he grins at me.

"Hey, Natsu."

"Let's go on an adventure, you and I."

I blink.

And blink.

And blink again.

"To where?"

"To find the summer spirit, of course!"

I pause, because it wasn't an order, a demand, but an _invitation_.

I smile at him like he smiles at me.

"Okay."

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_(are you still there?)_

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**notes: **more characters introduced next chapter. AREN'T YOU EXCITED!? OF COURSE YOU ARE.


	3. we need no roads

**dedication: **here's to childhood and unanswered wishes.  
**notes:** random, but the chrono trigger soundtrack is as beautiful as ever. here's a thought: read this while listening to _secret of the forest_ or _600 AD_—it will be magical, i kid you not.

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_(I'll teach you to jump on the wind's back,  
and away we go.)_

**/we need no roads****  
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**3**

It feels like a dream.

Like every step taken is a numbing thud and every voice whispered is a muffled murmur.

And it's all a blur, because _is this really happening_?

I chance a quick glance to my right.

He's there.

Blink.

Still there.

"What s'matter, Lucy?"

Natsu cocks his head in curiosity.

"Nothing! Nothing at all."

My hands are up, waving, shaking. (Not very convincing.)

"C'mon, spill it!"

Sigh.

My thoughts and hopes and worries fly out before I can cover my mouth.

"It bothers me that my father just let me go without even asking for my destination. A wave of a hand, and I was dismissed, just like that."

He blinks and grins, resting a hand naturally on my shoulder.

It tingles.

"That's it?"

"Also, I can't believe I'm traveling to the world outside with the prince of Fiore. I'm a bit nervous, to be honest."

Oops. That one, especially, wasn't supposed to come out.

He laughs. The sound is musical.

"You're really honest, aren't you."

"Not willingly."

I'm sure this was said under my breath, but then,

"S'okay. I like honest people."

Our eyes meet, like magnetic energy, and I wonder how he heard such a comment.

"Does the king not care that you're doing this...?"

He shrugs. It's soft and nonchalant and carefree, like a cloud.

"I do this from time to time."

"You mean, act out rebelliously and disappear for months at a time?"

"No,"

He shoots a crooked smile my way before pushing my head lightly with a single finger.

"Go on adventures."

It's silent. And I think about what it is we're really doing. About the consequences, about the repercussions.

"It's my first time going with a friend, though."

He ends his thought with a brighter-than-light smile adorning that lively face.

_A friend._

I can't help but feel unimaginably blissful about this.

"So... where are we going...?"

"..."

His lack of a reply worries me.

And then he says something that has somehow become completely characteristic of him:

"To where ever the road should take us!"

Our feet pitter-patter against the stone pathway in irregular beats.

It's like arrhythmia, before the heart gives out.

"Live a little, Lucy."

Looking down at my worn-out boots—I wore them specifically because Papa absolutely abhors them—my lips curve softly, and surely my uncertainty dies.

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It's raining when we arrive at Acalypha Town.

How strange. There was not a single cloud in that endless azure sky just down the road.

Suddenly, Natsu is before me, arms outstretched. His normally perky hair is drooping, but his expression couldn't shine more.

"Welcome to Acalypha, the town of merchants!"

I blink away my raindrop eyelashes and squint. First, at him, and then, at the rest of the world.

And it doesn't matter if it's pouring.

It doesn't matter if I'm miles from home, walking on a fantastical journey.

It doesn't matter that the wetness in my eyes might not be the rain.

For this is the very first town I've ever been to outside of Magnolia.

This moment is ineffable.

He wraps his somehow-dry scarf haphazardly around my head and walks in front of me.

"You can borrow this 'til the rain lets up."

I smile hard into the cloth, because _this is what living is_.

Natsu pretends not to notice.

But I know he does.

It's raining, but the crowd is bustling and busy as ever.

He walks in front as I follow closely along, clumsy feet shuffling, fingers lightly grasping the fabric of his sleeve.

He doesn't seem to mind.

I hope he doesn't mind.

Shoulders are bumping but eyes not following. No one seems to recognize Natsu.

No one sees the prince of Fiore.

It's odd, this compulsion and urge to take hold of his hand. It seems so easy, swinging back and forth gently at his side.

The crowd suddenly surges and my feeble grip on his shirt is severed. (I really should have held his hand.)

I am about to call for him, but then I hear something. A peculiar sound.

Like a tiny bell, crying out for help.

For someone.

Anyone.

It takes me a moment to realize that I have stopped walking, that Natsu is gone.

That I am all alone in sea of unfamiliar faces.

(What is this feeling?)

And then I'm walking towards a merchant booth, cheeks flushing and oh―

It is cold when you're lonely.

It feels like a dream.

Like only half of me has sensations and chills and other half, numb.

I arrive at the shop. There is a jar on the table, with holes poked through the lid.

And inside that jar, I find a tiny, little person.

Her skin is pale, hair so blueblue_blue_, and watery eyes glistening and wide in distress.

A bell jingles.

I touch the glass of the container.

Those crystal wings flutter ever so slightly.

Then, there is a lump in my throat, and I swallow with difficulty.

For I am finally seeing a bringer of seasons, of laughter, of smiles, and what I have only witnessed from vague sketches in old story books.

I am seeing my very first fairy.

"Tell me, do you have a name?" I try, crouching down to meet with her in eye level.

She is pretty. And blue and wispy.

Like a river.

The fairy nods, and then she opens her mouth and sings.

The rain lightens up, and stray droplets kiss my cheeks.

"Rain..." I whisper.

"This one's name,"

Her voice is small and light, and there are sparkles in the water when she smiles.

"is Juvia."

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**notes: **looking at this now... it's _probably_ going to be a long one. hope y'all decide to stay for the ride.


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